...ya no se...

i intended on breaking off my friendship/relationship with my ex long ago…BUT…we came back to one another.

i just spent two wonderfully happy weeks with him. so much love and needing one another. hugs. kisses. just wanting one another. i have missed him so much.

he took *my* daughter in as his own. he loved her and told everyone she was his…but i know he only wants to look good in everyone’s eyes. he loves playing the hero.

i sit here, 1500 miles away, wanting him here, but knowing it is best that he is not here. he is amazing. good-looking. successful…but we can’t keep on this way.

he is my love. i am not his. one day he will find her and i will smile and be happy for him.

someday we will all be happy.

my bestest friend in the world is back, but he isn’t back in the way he was before. :(

he needs me and i am here for him, but i don’t trust him. even a smidge. i didn’t think my heart could break anymore than it already had, but i was very wrong.

he’s sad. he’s lonely. he needs me. i don’t need him though, and the last 2 weeks have helped me see that…good luck, buddy, but no more.

school’s back in session. i am so darn busy, in the best possible way. i’m moving on.

i know the one thing in the world that hurts more than losing your love-losing your best friend. :(

he won’t listen. won’t be reasoned with. he will give up. will be mean.

do me a favor and give me more credit than you think I deserve. I may say stupid things, but I am not dumb.

I have tried so hard to be unlike the ones that came before me in your life, but you really have left me no choice. I hate this. </3

i am doing what i am supposed to do but not what i want to do. this is how i end up so dissatisfied with the outcome. oh well.